Forgiveness is Conditional

Someone said this to me a few years ago. "Forgiveness is conditional." Forgiveness, he believed the Bible taught, was not something you gave out freely, without condition. Unless the person who has sinned against you actually repents and seeks out forgiveness, you should not forgive them. I didn't want to believe him. Forgiveness is unconditional. It is what I had been taught all my life. "The only way you can be free of the pain someone else has caused you is to forgive them." My reason? Because Jesus dispensed forgiveness freely, and I want to be like Jesus. And until about fifteen minutes ago, I still believed that.

Then I read an article by Chris Brauns. It is one of the most amazing things I have read all year and I suggest you take some time to read it. Based on a conversation he'd like to have with Keley Grammar, Brauns "unpacks" forgiveness, exposing the obvious biblical teaching that forgiveness is, in actuality, something you offer freely, but only give out conditionally. Here's one section:

Contrary to what many say, in my book, Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds, I argued that forgiveness is conditional. Christians are not called to automatically forgive every offense. Rather, we should offer forgiveness to all. Said another way, we should maintain an attitude of forgiveness. But biblical forgiveness is more than a feeling. It is something that happens between two parties, and it takes place in the fullest sense only when the offending party repents and the relationship is restored.

While I include more detail in the book, the Biblical argument for conditional forgiveness is straight-forward.

• Christians are called to forgive others as God forgave them (Matthew, 6:12, Ephesians 4:32).
• God forgives conditionally. God only forgives those who repent of their sins and turn in saving faith to Him (1 John 1:9, John 3:36).
• Likewise, we also should offer forgiveness to all.
• We forgive those who repent. Indeed, we are obliged to forgive (Luke 17:3-4), knowing that whatever someone has done to offend us pales in comparison to what we have done to offend God (Matthew 18:32-33). (See what others say on conditional forgiveness here).

If I was talking with Grammer and I suggested that forgiveness is not automatic, he might ask, "Didn't Jesus forgive those who crucified him, even as he was on the Cross (Luke 23:33-34)?" The short answer to that question is, "no, Jesus did not forgive them." By praying, Jesus demonstrated an attitude of forgiveness. He prayed that those who crucified him would be forgiven in the future; he did not thank God that they were already forgiven. If they had already been forgiven, such a prayer would have been superfluous.

Read the whole thing.