My Grace is, Unfortunately, Conditional

In the middle of Gary and Betsy Ricucci's Love That Lasts. So far aso good. It is a book on marriage that is centered around the Gospel, foundationally biblical, to the point, and very practical. Oh, it also has the tendancy to rip out my heart, throw it on the floor and dance around on it. That's a good thing. For example, in the chapter on the role of a husband, Gary describes what it is like to love your wife graciously (p. 35-6):

That is, not according to her performance. It is painful to think of how often my initiative, affection, encouragement and care toward Betsy are conditional upon her performance. If I am pleased, I pursue. If I am dissapointed, I am distant. Jesus didn't wait for the church to rid itself of every spot and wrinkle. His love encoumpases the weakneses, failures, inconsistencies, and even sins of the church. Because his love is gracious, it is constant and active. No one on earth should experience more of my generosity, respect, kindness, sacrfice and gratitude than my wife.

(Baby, where this has been true of me, I am sorry.)