Life Changing: How to Raise My Kids

Dramatic statement of the week: I just finished a book that will (hopefully) change my life. Yes, I know, I am prone to life-change. I see a quote, hear a sermon, or read a book and decide that, quite promptly, "My life has changed." In some respect, life-change happens daily. The early philosopher Heraclitus remarked, "You can't step into the same river twice." And so it is with the human heart, mind and soul. When we grow (or wither) in the slightest, we change. And that is good. But what I am talking about is momentous life-change. That is, when you go from walking northwest to running southeast. And that happens to me a lot. That's ok because I am a baby and constantly need huge course corrections as I journey.

My most recent life-change happened at the behest of Tedd Tripp. No, Tedd did not call me, but he wrote to me, by way of Shepherding a Child's Heart. Now the problem is that I have nothing to compare it to. This is literally my first ever "how to raise your kids" read. But I am hard pressed to believe that anything else could be as biblical and, accordingly, foundational. His book is short on details, but that doesn't really matter. It's the roots that matter, the foundation. And the foundation is that your kids are not really yours. They are, ultimately, God's. And that means they must be raised with Him not just in the same room, but as the center of the room. So even though this is my first child-rearing book, and while it will probably not be my last, I suspect all other ideas I buy into will find their basis in Tripp's discovery: that we have to raise our kids in accordance with the scriptures.

What was unclear to me before is that so many of us Christian parents fails to offer our kids what has become vitally important to us. We have discovered Jesus and now center our lives around him. Why, therefore, would we not then center our kids' lives around him as well? But that means dramatic things. It means that your kids have the same issues you do. They are inclined to reject God and worship idols. The reason they don't behave is not because they are not disciplined. It is because their hearts are malformed. It means that they need Jesus. Listen to Tripp:

The heart is wellspring of life. Therefore, parenting is concerned with shepherding the heart. You must learn to work from the behavior you see, back to the heart, exposing heart issues for your children. In short, you must learn to engage them, not just reprove them. Help them see the ways that they are trying to slake their souls' thirst with that which cannot satisfy. You must help your kids gain a clear focus on the cross of Christ.

This is life-changing. It says to me that the thing that gives me the most hope, the thing that is the basis for all my joy and satisfaction, is also the thing that will help me raise my children. I am God's agent of authority for my children on this planet, Tripp says. My job is to get them to love and respect him and, by extension, me. This is really a remarkable book and should be read by every Christian parent. Get it here.