On Slandering Oysters

Charles Spurgeon, on ministers who can't teach. I am posting it for no other reason than I found it hilarious. Lectures to My Students, p. 240:

Whatever you may know, you cannot be truly efficient ministers if you are not 'apt to teach'. You know ministers who have mistaken their calling, and evidently have no gifts for it: make sure that none think the same of you. There are brethren in the ministry whose speech is intolerable; either they rouse you to wrath, or else they send you to sleep. No chloral can ever equal some discourses in sleep-giving properties; no human being, unless fitted with infinite patience, could long endure to listen to them, and nature does well to give the victim deliverance through sleep. I heard one say the other day that a certain preacher had no more gifts for the ministry than an oyster, and in my own judgment this was a slander on the oyster, for that worthy bivalve shows great discretion in his openings, and knows when to close. If some men were sentenced to hear their own sermons it would be a righteous judgment upon them, and they would soon cry out with Cain, 'My punishment is greater than I can bear.' Let us not fall under the same condemnation.